Okay I understand that I am treading on a sensitive topic here. And hey although this question has always been on my mind, I never really thought of doing a discussion post on it until now, does that make you forgive me a little? It’s been a while since I have done a discussion post anyway and you know I love to discuss. You know how we do around here, tell it how it is! *sigh* why do I feel like I’m the one who has to say what many are all thinking? Well someone has to do it right?
So Question;
What are your thoughts on children being told by parents,what they can and can't read?
*looks around* Wait don’t kill me just yet, hear me out.
I may have mentioned in the past that I didn’t have the best of support growing up when it came to my love for reading. If anything it was discouraged. Probably because my family didn’t understand it. Still don’t really.
In a way I admire those whose parents support their love for reading, I think it's a beautiful thing, but if it came down to them supporting my love for reading but then telling me what I should or should not read, excuse me but I would rather they not support me at all, I'd rather deal with all that I had to and choose what I want to read thank you very much! But hey if your parents support you and respect your choice of books then I salute you! LOL :D
The thing is though, if my parents told me what I could and couldn't read, I wouldn’t be open minded like I am today. I always feel like you should give every genre a go at least once and explore to see what is truly for you. I loved the fact that as a child I was able to explore and tread around to see what I liked and did not like. It actually pains me to think of a child who is limited to certain books. It’s like candy, being told for many years you can only eat a few in particular, that child for many years to come will not be able to experience the taste of those others, why limit your child to like that, isn’t that almost.. Dare I say cruel?
Okay so let me think from a parent’s point of view. SEX is the word that all the parents fear isn’t it? It’s the thought of Kissing, touching, etc etc, that makes a parent run half a mile and tell their child “This book is inappropriate!”
What I am saying is trust your child. If they have realised that they really love a little something called reading. That this is something that they enjoy, do you really think they are so utterly clueless to know what is for them and what isn’t?
When I was say 7 – 10 I went to the children’s section anyway, now no one told me that I should go to that section, I just happened to find that the books there were more to my preference, around 11 I started going towards the teen section. This was where I stumbled across books with girls facing boy problems, some kissing if I recollect at that point, young girls who have friend issues, parents who don’t understand, and things that I found relate-able at that point of time.
I then went through a phase where I loved ghost stores, devoured the Goosebumps series which might have been deemed to scary at the age I was at the time. Yes I was sacred but I absolutely loved them! They are not a series that I could read now as they are for children but Imagine my parents had told me at that point of time that I could not read Goosebumps.
I also devoured the Christopher Pike books which might have been slightly inappropriate at that time also, Imagine me never experiencing Christopher Pike. Imagine
I would have never read either.
Wow.
What I am saying here is when someone asks you when you are say 20, what books did you read as a child? You will tell of a certain few yes? But 50+ more could have been added to that list, books that you could have read at a certain time had you been allowed to. That is why it saddens me when I think of children being told what they can and can't read. You don’t realise how much they are really missing out on.
The giver was my first serious book. It left me in thought for a full week, thinking about life, appreciating the power of books. I read it because I felt that at that point of time it was for me, and it was, it impacted me greatly, it was one of the first book that inspired me. I was inspired by the Giver because I “Chose” to read it. I chose. Now imagine, I was told that I could not read that book because it was a little to serious for me, I would have never had that thoughtful week, the first book that first inspired me would have not been The Giver.
Let me put it this way. We are so against banning books right, don't you think that you are in a sense banning your child from reading certain books? Does the fact that the child can read the books a few years later in your opinion make it okay? don't you even think if anything else your child will resent you for it or does that not bother you, because it sure bothers me. if you really don't think it then think again
Now I ask, were you limited as a child? If yes, looking back are you thankful? Unhappy that you were not able to choose? If so why do the same to your child?
I am aware a lot of it has to do with inappropriate content according to the child’s age. Really though? Please do not underestimate your child, if they read anything inappropriate for their age, it may be because they feel they are ready and mature enough to do so, have some faith and do not think that your child will hook up with some random boy simply because god forbid they read about a book about boyfriends or inappropriate touching or kissing in a book. I did and let me assure you it affected me in no particular way.
What can affect your child is real life, friends, school, peer pressure; I think it is much more important to focus on the people your child is surrounded by rather than the content in a book.
I really do not mean to offend anyone, I really don’t. You might agree with me, you might not; the whole point of this post is to hope that people can at least try to see things from my point of view, a view that represents children who were when they were young, and are even now being told what they can and can't read. I don’t think people realise that how serious this is. Those children who are fine with it, fair enough, but those who are not happy what about them? Is it okay to just give them the “Your parents are only doing it because they care” answer? Parents do many things because they care, it doesn't precisely make them right every time.
What I ask is, if you are telling your child that they can't read particular books and “IF” they are disagreeing, just give them a chance, give them a chance and let them explain from their point of view. Do not underestimate them because of their age, look at them as an equal and genuinely ask them “Why should they be able to read books of their choice?.”
Doesn’t the question in itself when you read it sound mean?
If I have made a parent think from this post even for a second then I am content, if I have sparked a conversation between a parent and child where the parent is willing to discuss with their child and be a little opened minded as to letting their child have a try at least at exploring then I am thrilled.
Who am I? I know. I am just a blogger. But I have a voice and so I use it through words. I have experienced what many children have and looking back reading wise I consider myself one of the lucky ones, so I share. That is all can do.
What I want to ask now is, do you have a story? Are you a parent, a child, a reader, how was it for you growing up? Were you limited when it came to reading? Did you read whatever you wanted to; did reading content which was deemed “inappropriate” for your age, influence you in any way? Am I wrong, am I right? I would for love you all to tell me from your perspective, remember this is a discussion post not a war.
So I'm hoping that we can discuss civilly. Thank you J
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