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paperback: 240 pages Publisher: Genre: Young Adult Source: Bought
Rating;
They say there are five stages of grief;
1. Denial2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance
Up until last year I didn't know there were lists like that. I had no idea people actually kept track of these things. But still, even if I had known, I never would've guessed that just a few days before my fourteenth birthday I'd be stuck in stage one. (1)
Synopsis - Meet fifteen-year-old Echo, a typical teen trying to survive high school without being totally traumatized by boy trouble, friend drama, and school issues. As if she didn't have enough on her plate, Echo is also still dealing with the murder of her sister Zoe. Although it's been over a year, Echo is still reeling from tragedy that changed everything. Beautiful and full of life, Zoe was the glue that held her family together, and although the two sisters were as different as night and day, they still had a bond that Echo can't let go of. When Zoe's old boyfriend Marc shows up one day with Zoe's diary, Echo doesn't think there's anything in there she doesn't already know. But as she gives in to curiosity and starts reading, she learns that her sister led a secret life that no one could have guessed - not even Echo.
I remember rolling over and squinting against the morning light, watching as she pressed her index finger to her smiling lips, her short red nail like the bottom of an upside-down exclamation point, as she performed her exaggerated, cartoonish, stealth tiptoe through my room, out my door, and down the hall. Sometimes now, when I think back on that day, I add a whole new scene. One where, instead of turning over and falling back to sleep, I say something important, something meaningful, something that would’ve let her know, beyond all doubt, just how much I loved and admired her. But the truth is, I didn’t say anything. I mean, how was I supposed to know that was the last time I'd ever see her?
My Thoughts - Echo is still reeling in grief. The kind that knocks the wind right out of you and leaves you with this hollow feeling long after. Her sister having passed away two years ago doesn't make today any easier, or the next, and the next.
Then there are times when she wishes everyone didn't tread so carefully around her. As if by touching her she would fall apart. Most of all she hates that those that mourned her sister at her funeral, expressed sadness, to the point of even shedding tears - are those who now point at her and make assumptions of her sister who is no longer here. Even her best friends are much too careful about what they say. Fifteen year old Echo wants them to stop watching every word they say and start treating her like she treats them. Like a human being.
That doesn't happen though. Not when your sister is brutally murdered, and the remaining sibling is left living in a dysfunctional, paranoid family who are oblivious to what is going on around them. So much so, that in their own grief they almost forget that they still have one child who is very much alive and hurting. Rather than sitting down, talking, reminiscing - strict - unrealistic rules are imposed upon Echo, rules that only drive her away rather than keep her safe.
Things take a turn when Zoe's ex Marc gives her Zoe's Diary.
Zoe was protective of her sister, and made it clear that she wanted her to avoid things that she went through at all costs. She looked out for her little sister and sometimes she didn't as much. Regardless, Echo thought she knew her big sister. She thought the moments when Zoe would sneak into her room at night escaping from her window represented something that only the both of them shared. Zoe trusted her, and even though she became more mysterious and unpredictable in those last few months, she always felt like she knew Zoe like no one else did. Well Marc doesn't think so. In fact, he might just be the one person who knew what she was really like. Far from perfect.
Now it's Echo's turn to take the Diary, and flip open the pages that are bursting to whisper those little whispers Zoe tried so hard to keep hidden and out of reach from all those she loved and hated. In her Diary she hides not one inch of herself, she is honest, brutal and mean, but loving, and even a little insecure. It's clear when you’re seeing this almost cruel side to Zoe that no one was ever supposed to read this Diary, ever. She would have burned it before she let anyone read her most sacred - inner thoughts. I know this because I would do the same with mine.
Echo is left with no choice though. She has waited for this moment. To find out the truth about her sisters death, and the possibility of the answers lying within these pages is just too great. She has to know. Little could she have guessed how much she didn't know, and is about to find out.
Reading it a few years back I had a very different opinion of this book. First of, I completely fell in love with it. I was around Echo's age when I read it, maybe younger. What confused me was how I never recalled the sexual content in the book from time to time which quite amused me. Then again this might be due to the fact that I probably didn't know the meaning behind some of the *cough* terms LOL!
After reading this book I was sold and became an instant fan of the author.
This was one of the first books that really moved me, although it didn't get that emotional response from me now, back then I remember feeling so upset, angry, and even had a small mourning period. The reasons unknown to my parents, I kept to myself for a few days until I felt ready to be myself again. Maybe that is the affect a book can possibly have when you take a big leap from certain type of books you are used to, to something completely alien. Up until Saving Zoe I had never read anything that had affected me emotionally which is probably why I have remembered this book so fondly for so long. Oh I had read my fair share of YA until then, but this was one of the first to have an emotional affect on me.
What I also noticed this time around was how insensitive, selfish, and mean Zoe was. How she really had to be the centre of attention. How I second guessed many times looking back now if she even had genuine feelings for Marc. I hated how she constantly belittled him, poked fun at him, and had this personality that was almost self-destructive - the girl to put it plainly - was a mess.
As Echo tries to step into her sisters shoes, she also picks up similar traits along the way. One being insensitive towards her best friends feelings knowing full well how she feels about a particular someone which doesn't stop her from going with the flow anyway - when really, she should have took a step back way early and said "STOP, this is wrong". Feeling disconnected in a relationship but staying in it anyway is just one of many things that this girl is fucking up in. These were the things that ticked me of about both sisters. Their inconsideration for others. Something that I completely missed the first time I read it. Well now, it bothered the heck out of me.
For some reason I recalled certain two people being a serious couple in the end. I don't know what brought that on thought though, maybe wishful thinking on my part back then? Now though? Wow. It was wrong from the get-go. And it wasn't even the circumstances of their relationship, because trust me that has never stopped me rooting for a couple in the past. It just seemed so wrong. For one, both of them were heading into it for completely wrong and selfish reasons. Not to mention that there is hardly any connection between the two that the readers can latch on to and think "I really want this to work" I guess in a way I was glad there was nothing there; it made it easier to accept later on. If I had to take a step back now and look at this picture as a whole. All three people involved including the girl who once was, are lost, insecure, and lonely. Yet they are not particularly nice people at all.
Even though they were in a relationship, Marc as Zoe mentions, tries countless times to get her to sleep with him when she is just is not interested or in the mood, and although she might - in her own shitty way at the same time be playing mind games with the guy. The amount of times she mentions this and the obvious desperation from his side each time... is just completely off-putting and overly sleazy. Does he love this girl that he still mourns or was it just the sex? Or a bit of both. These are things as a 19 year old I feel I have to ask myself. As I ask myself this very question I shake my head dumbfound at how utterly naive and oblivious my 14/15 year old self really was.
I understood that Echo wanted to be like her sister. She wanted to, in fact, be Zoe. She wanted to live her life because she felt it was the only way to bring her back to her. That is where I completely understood. I mourned for her - for that reason because although the family as a whole faced this tragedy, it was this young girl with no fault of her own who was left to pick up the pieces.
A personal favourite of mine was the concept of the Diary. It gave me the huge urge to run into my room and start writing. Which I think I will after finishing this. As she read on, Echo realised that the Zoe she had known was hardly the Zoe that spoke to her through these pages. Despite this, Echo never judges her, and although probably unrealistic it just showed the extent of loyalty Echo had for her sister.
Echo's and Zoe's story is one that all young girls can learn from and relate to. She's a young teen who is trying to figure out where she fits in the world. She is someone when it comes down to it that just really misses her sister. She has good friends, sure, but boys are coming into the mix. Boys are now showing an interest in her, she's growing into a woman and perhaps she's not quite ready for it yet.
The book also makes you aware of those predators that are always standing by, waiting to lure you in and strike. It's no joke. Zoe is the absolute proof of that. What happens to Zoe can happen to absolutely anyone; it's just unfortunate and unlucky on her part, which is what makes her death so damn sad.
Overall I really enjoyed how the author covered all the teen issues of; pressure of sex, peer pressure, wanting to fit in, lack of communication between a family, loss of a loved one. It's all there bundled up in Saving Zoe. If anything, it's a great eye opener for all teens out there. You don't have to like Zoe, Echo, Mark, Carly or anyone else for that matter, but what you should at least try to do is appreciate how the author does not hold back and is bluntly honest through her characters. They represent real people who are full of flaws, yes, but human nonetheless. Not only will the reader enjoy this book - close it a little heavy-hearted and depressed, but also take some life lessons with them along the way.
No matter what faults I found here and there the second time around, although I can’t promise that you will find a tearjerker with this book what I can promise you is that the book is pretty fantastic and thought-provoking. I would especially recommend this book for those girls who are in their early teens. If you are looking for something a little different, and outside your comfort zone then Saving Zoe will be a fabulous book to begin with. As for those YA fans, dig in. You will fall head over heels with Saving Zoe. It has a little bit of everything that we all love. What makes this book so great is that people of all ages can love and appreciate it for what it is.
If you enjoyed Saving Zoe then here are some amazing books that you are bound to love also.
- The Sky Is Everywhere By Jandy Nelson ( Amazing book, one that I couldn't help but think how similar it was to Saving Zoe and vice versa)
- PS I Love You By Cecelia Ahern
- Going too Far By Jennifer Echols
- Thirteen Reasons Why By Jay Asher
- Before I Die By Jenny Downham
- Love You, Hate You, Miss You By Elizabeth Scott
- The Summer I Turned Pretty By Jenny Han
- I Heart You, You Haunt Me by Lisa Schroeder
"But I've strayed so far from normal now, I'll never find my way back. And the truth is, I no longer want to."
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