“Jasper Jones fell out of this world and nobody noticed...And they'll notice now because something has been burned. Now they'll look for Jasper Jones.” 

Jasper Jones... how long i have waited for you. i knew it was going to be good because some of my favourite reviewers had raved about it. and when has aussie lit ever let me down?
Jasper Jones pulls you in from the first page the moment a stranger by the name of Jasper Jones lets himself in through Charlie Bucktin's window. Oh, he's heard of him aright, but it all consists of town folks saying he's bad news. everyone knows that if anything bad happens in town, most likely, it's Jasper Jones fault. If someones child isn't acting accordingly, well then, surely it's that Jasper Jones influence. But charlie sees something different in him, so when he pleads with him to come with, charlie follows.

He will wish he didn't.
What they discover is horrible. terrible. beyond what Charlie could have imagined. But now it's too late. he's a witness now, a participant. now a boy who comes from a seemingly sheltered family (or so we are told to assume) is thrust into a situation way beyond his control.
From there on we are able to be spectators to Charlie's world. With him we witness the extreme racism that is the norm which he is privy to daily. His own best friend Jeffrey Lu is taunted and mentally abused by others, as well as his family.

  Life during that time was not ideal by a long shot and it gave me a mix of emotions. a part of me resented Charlie not sticking up for his friend, and another, for Jeffrey for not doing so either. another for people merely watching like nothing is happening. personally, it was deeply hurtful to watch. I just couldn't understand it. it was even more frustrating knowing i couldn't slap those knuckle heads myself on Jeffrey's behalf.

Meanwhile, we also take this sweet journey of Charlies love-life. it's strange. on one end there is this big secret eating him up inside, and on the other, this horrible racism that he is privy to, and as terrible as it all is we are able to see this sweet side too. it's quite lovely seeing him grow before our very eyes. he's utterly relatable as this shy, innocent young boy whose heart practically beats out of his chest every time he sees his crush.

It's a heartbreaking tale because although there are a few sweet moments, the majority of his life is pretty terrible. his mother has practically lost her mind from resentment of her life, her family, and everything else one can think of. on the other hand, Jasper Jones is all alone in this world. His father is a terrible drunkard who is never home. to top it off  you have a town full of people who hate him because it's easier to have someone to blame. specifically someone with no family.
This book really left me unsettled and conflicted. but i'm glad, because any book that can instill these kind of emotions is definitely doing something right . a must read.

Note: I read this in December last year so this review was long overdue. I hope you are all doing well. I'm thinking of doing a catch up post with some pictures. I don't know if anyone is reading any of this because I have been gone for so long but either way HIIIII. I miss you all a lot. <3

 Hi guys. I wrote this originally in 2013, around January.. it was mostly a letter to myself.  i thought about posting it but i think at the time it was too fresh. My mother has three sisters. After this aunt my mother lost two more. The last one around two weeks ago. So i think I'm going to post it whilst i still have the courage or it will probably stay in my drafts forever. I don't know if you will get anything from it, but even it it helps a little, or if you can relate, that's more than enough.


 today i want to talk about a bit of a sad topic. I'm talking about loss. how does one deal with it? is there a way to prepare yourself if the loved one has been suffering for a while and you know the inevitable could happen at any moment? but what if it was sudden, hard, and every other angry word you can think of. how exactly do you cope?

i'm here to tell you that there really isn't just one particular way. you see, in life some of us follow a strict set of rules, a guidebook of sorts that gives some of us comfort and meaning. and some of us live life in the moment, but with loss there is no book telling you how to deal with it or prepare yourself, there is no list, and there are no clear instructions. the truth is that  when it happens you will just know. 

but it's so important to know that there is no wrong or right way to deal with loss or go about it. i lost someone recently, and she had been suffering for a long time. many around me told me that she was in a better place now, that her suffering had finally ended. i understood that. but i wasn't ready for her to go, i didn't want her to go. and as selfish as it made me feel i wished that i could have had more time with her. in the last few years of life she lost the ability to speak or eat. so a part of me will always regret not knowing her as much as i wanted to before she became so ill. that is something, I suppose, that i must live with.

the truth is that this was the first loss in our family that i actually felt. i never saw and never knew my mother's mother and my father's father. i saw my fathers mother twice in my life and never really had a good conversation with her or my mother's father as I was too young when they passed away to really be able to appreciate relationships in that point of time.. so their passing never really stirred anything in me. but my mother's sister, now hers I felt. i bathed her dead body (something that even now i really don't know how i did looking back) but i think times bring out your best and worst and in that moment i wanted to be there for her as much as possible. i know that she would have wanted me there. but here's another truth. if i felt that i couldn't go through with it, that would have been OK too. because either way my love for her would have been the same.

my point is that when we experience the loss of a loved one don't be too hard on yourself if you don't do things the way you or certain people expect you to do. it's OK to be alone for a while, to grieve alone. there's nothing wrong with that. 

visiting our loved ones is also something i want to quickly touch on. personally, i find that visiting my aunt gives me peace. it's like saying hello and checking up on her. my thing is taking some flowers and writing a little note every time i visit and placing it on her grave, which will normally just include me saying hello and telling her some things related to that day. in this weird way, it makes me feel connected to her more than ever.

i'm going to tell you a story about a boy during my high school days. i didn't like him and he didn't like me. i honestly have no idea why apart from the fact that we were very young and silly. and then one day i came into school and found out that he had passed away. i thought it was some kind of sick joke. I mean, he had just been in my business studies class the day before. but there you have it. the unfairness of life. It took me a couple of years but I finally visited his grave. i wrote him a letter and said some words and i walked away feeling peace and a bit better. all those years i always felt a bit uneasy. Like there were some unspoken words that needed to be said. i think 'sorry' was the main thing. so when I visited my aunt recently i went to visit him for the second time (i found his grave just as i was about to give up searching for it.). there were birthday balloons around his grave which made me smile and it felt like saying hello for the second time. it made me think what he would think, that out of all his mates and family it was the stubborn girl who was couldn't stand boys that came to visit. i think it would amuse him - in a good way. :)

but here's the thing. i know people who find it too painful to visit loved ones, or some who don't feel the need because they feel they are ultimately gone. and again, i'm here to tell you that there is no particular rule to this either. every single person deals, with this too, differently. and that's absolutely and totally fine. i just want to say that i really hope that people don't feel sad or guilty for not visiting, or for feeling a certain way during a loss of a loved one. that would really bother me. because i believe they understand. i think them understanding how you feel is enough. 

           

  Hi everyone, remember me? Probably not :( Don't worry I wouldn't either. I was just looking at my archive actually and it was... baaaaaad.

I wanted to do a post before 2015 hit so I thought why not share my reads of 2014?

I know, I know. I haven't read a whole lot. But if you follow me on goodreads you may have noticed that I have been updating it with the odd review here and there.  Since there were some books that stood out i thought I would share :)

I spotted this year wrap up faves post at Nomes blog: inkrush. (where it originally started). and at Audrey's blog: Holes in my brain. As I haven't read many i'll be missing some out.


 Would make the best movie

This one has a story behind it. I was at the hospital when I noticed some books on the shelf. When I read Richelle Mead I thought why the hell not? Before I knew it I was completely engrossed. So much so that I found myself going back into that room and picking it up every chance I could get. It has everything I love. Romance, sizzling chemistry, a badass heroine, a hot lead, and a whole lot of butt kicking. I went on to read a few more books in the series.








 Book you were excited about but didn't live up to your expectations

This poor book was on my shelf for the longest time even though I had heard nothing but great things about it. Even the premise sounded fantastic! sadly, from the very start, it was a rocky read for me. And it only went downhill. (i reviewed it on goodreads if you want more details) but considering all the hype I was very let down.















Most haunting story

Oh Jasper Jones you are quite something. it's been a few months but i recall having a few mixed feelings. however, overall the end just left me in plain despair. we see first hand through Jasper's eyes who severe racism is and how badly it affects others. it was so frustrating for me to feel like a witness but unable to do anything about it. it doesn't promise you a happy ending. and there are these children who are living such tragic and lost lives that you want to hold them so much. it's horrible, all of it.









Mixed-fellings-glore kind of book





Afterworlds is a book within a book. if that makes sense. afterworlds is the book that our main character is writing in the story. the only problem? i enjoyed her book more than i did her life. and every time the narrative changed back to hers i would find myself tempted to flip pages just to get back to her story. a little problematic right? i may have not loved her story so much, but afterworld itself was pretty engrossing. would i reread this.... no.











          Books I am looking forward to in 2015

                                     My first purchases of 2014. i think? 
                                         wow.   bought them today :)

I heard Audrey @ holes in my brain rave quite a bit about Eleanor and Park some time back. Plus the synopsis sounded right up my alley. I'm preparing myself to get my heart broken by these two and I'm totally ok with that. And of course Patrick Ness is Patrick Ness so it had to be bought.












I dug these two up from my shelf after having a peek to see any titles that might catch my eye. Fingers crossed!
















Since it's been a while i thought i would part with a picture. I bought him today and named him cuddles. Sooo cute I can't!!! hehehehe



HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE. 
I ADORE AND MISS YOU ALL!

Sorry if you waited and got tired of waiting. I don't really have many excuses but I'll try to make a resolution to be more active next year. I missed talking to you all. But know i am active on twitter and goodreads if you ever want to chat. Links below.

TWITTER
GOODREADS 


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